ARTICLES RELATED TO:
Behavior & Discipline

How many times have we told our children to do something (put on their boots, come down for dinner, put away the phone) and they just don’t do it. Frustrating?  You bet. As parents, we sometimes escalate the situation by yelling. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to get louder when we give commands that are ignored. Kids of every age will test limits. When you tell them to do something (or stop doing something) they often won’t comply with the first command.  They want to see what you’ll do next. Their goal is to get what they want – to keep doing something they like, to avoid something they don’t.  Try these techniques to get kids to listen without yelling, keeping in mind the child’s age and developmental level. Get on Their Level Go to their space and get on their level.  It’s probably not effective to yell from the kitchen,  […]

We all know about time-outs: Sending children to their room or removing them from enjoyable people or activities. But how well do we practice time-ins, which help reinforce good behaviors? And why should we work on quality time together? Why Time-Ins and Quality Time? Quality time with parents provides many benefits to kids. An important thing to remember is that quality really does matter over quantity. It’s not necessarily how many minutes you spend with your children, but that you’re present and make the time matter when you’re together. Research suggests positive quality time with parents results in a number of positive outcomes, including: strengthening the parent-child relationship fostering communication improving behavior decreasing later risks in adolescents for both mental health and health outcomes You’re also modeling positive relationships for your children and helping them understand the importance of being engaged and consistent. Start Simple 1. Snuggle. Be generous with your […]

How likely will the quality and impression of early relationships influence us throughout our lives? A recent article in The New York Times, “Yes, It’s Your Parents’ Fault,” addressed this concept called “attachment theory” and said it matters a lot. Once you get past the slightly negative title and some psychological jargon, the opinion piece is laden with good information. Why Is Parenting So Important? Instead of blaming parents, let’s take a small step back: Parents can contribute so much value to their children’s lives, especially in the early years. Experts agree that the early years (especially months 0-36) are a critical time for development of relationships, language, and emotional understanding. Simple behaviors such as talking to your baby more, no matter what words are spoken, are impactful. We should teach parents that this period is important and offer support. We might think this comes naturally to parents, but it doesn’t […]

Do you wonder whether your kids will ever behave and follow your rules without all of the seemingly endless whining, crying, bickering and battling? You’re not alone — we’ve all been there and done (and are still doing) that. It can be exhausting … and frustrating … and overwhelming. And every child is different — what works for one may not help even an iota for another. Sometimes it can be easy to fall into the same parenting and discipline routines and feel like you’re getting nowhere fast. So it can be useful (and eye-opening) to stand back from all of the squabbling, reassess and tweak things a bit to see if it helps bring a little more cooperation, connection and peace to the household. Here are some positive parenting pointers to keep in your toolkit: 1. Remember that there’s a difference between “discipline” and “punishment.” They really aren’t one and the […]

If ever there were a hot-button parenting topic, it’s spanking. The argument for spanking from some parents and often-well-meaning relatives sometimes goes: “I was spanked and my parents were spanked, and we all turned out just fine. Kids today wouldn’t be such spoiled, disrespectful brats if their parents had a firm hand.” To which opponents of spanking (from pediatricians to mental health professionals, from your neighbor to a mom’s group friend) might say… “But research consistently shows that spanking: teaches children that it’s OK to hit when they’re angry can cause anger, aggression, resentment and physical harm (Babies and toddlers are especially unlikely to be able to make any connection between their behavior and physical punishment. They will only feel the pain of the hit.) often doesn’t teach the lesson a parent is trying to convey can make children fearful and resentful of (instead of respectful toward) their parents may […]