From the moment my son Reed joined the world, he was happy, joyful, smart, creative, and incredibly confident. He loved to be read to at bedtime. He loved learning and discovering. He was curious about everything. There was absolutely nothing about him that made me question his intelligence or his ability to learn.
It wasn’t until he started school and began struggling with early reading skills that I felt like I was missing something. In preschool, Reed wasn’t retaining his letters and letter sounds. He struggled to memorize sight words. And by kindergarten, the little boy who had loved school began to fear it. He begged not to go. He called me daily feeling “sick” and begging to come home. Worst of all, his beautiful cherub-cheeked smile disappeared.
As his mom, I knew something wasn’t right. What I wished I had known then was how important it would be to trust that instinct.
Dyslexia Has Nothing to Do With Intelligence
One of the most important things every parent should know is that dyslexia has absolutely nothing to do with intelligence. Dyslexia can present as a painful difficulty learning to read, write, and spell. And when a bright child watches classmates do those things seemingly effortlessly while they struggle day after day, they can quickly come to a devastating conclusion: Maybe I’m not smart.
That belief can be far more damaging than the reading struggle itself.
Dyslexia symptoms can include your child struggling to learn letters or letter sounds while being remarkably gifted in math, logic, art, building, music, sports, engineering, storytelling, or a hundred other things. In fact, that disconnect, a clearly intelligent child who is unexpectedly struggling to learn to read, is one of the clearest signs that something more is going on.
Other early signs of dyslexia can include difficulty rhyming, remembering letters and their sounds, learning sight words, spelling, and even seemingly unrelated tasks such as learning to tie shoes.
If you see those signs, ask questions. And if the answers don’t make sense, ask more questions.
Recognizing the Signs of Dyslexia in Kids and Trusting Your Instincts
I was asking questions about Reed from the time he was very young, but he wasn’t diagnosed with dyslexia until the middle of first grade.
Like most parents, I trusted that the people teaching my child would know if something was wrong. What I eventually learned is that many wonderful, caring educators simply haven’t been given the training they need to recognize dyslexia or understand the science of how the brain learns to read.
They don’t know what they don’t know.
But as a parent, no one knows your child better than you. If something doesn’t feel right, trust yourself enough to find out why. Ask questions. Seek an evaluation. The worst thing that happens is that you learn there is nothing to worry about. But if your child does need additional support, the earlier you know, the sooner you can help.
Knowledge is the gateway to action. And action is power.
How the Right Dyslexia Instruction Can Change Everything
The most empowering thing I learned through our journey is that we know how to teach all children how to read, including the 1-in-5 with dyslexia.
Children learn to read best when they receive direct, explicit, systematic instruction — and children with a dyslexia diagnosis need that instruction with additional repetition and practice. When Reed finally began receiving structured literacy instruction, he started reading words within weeks. It was life changing.
I watched a child who had struggled so hard begin to realize, I can do this. And slowly, the confidence and joy that had disappeared began to return.
Since then, through my work with REED Charitable Foundation, I have had the privilege of watching that transformation happen for thousands of other children. There is something almost indescribable about watching a child who believed they couldn’t learn suddenly realize that they can.
Their behavior improves. Their confidence soars. Their hope returns. And from personal experience, I can tell you, so does their smile.
Finding Dyslexia Support and Your People
Parenting a child with dyslexia can be overwhelming. There will be hard days. One of the best pieces of advice I can give another parent is: Find your people.
Find parents who are a few steps ahead of you on this journey. They can help you find the right schools, tutors, and resources — and help you avoid spending precious time and money on things that don’t work.
But just as importantly, they will understand.
They will celebrate the victories that might seem small to everyone else but feel enormous to you. They’ll listen when you’re frustrated. They’ll read the email you’re about to send the teacher and tell you whether it sounds too defensive. They’ll cry with you on the hard days and be crazy happy with you on the great ones.
Look for local dyslexia organizations, Decoding Dyslexia groups, and your state’s International Dyslexia Association chapter. Find the parents who have walked this road before you. You don’t have to figure it all out alone.
Believe in Who Your Child Is
Dyslexia can be hard on a child and on an entire family. I would never minimize that. I still live it. But it’s only one part of who your child is. Your job isn’t simply to help your child learn to read. It is also to protect their belief in themselves while they are learning.
Help them discover what they are good at and give them every opportunity to develop those strengths. Maybe it’s art. Maybe it’s athletics, music, cooking, engineering, comedy, entrepreneurship, or something that neither of you has discovered yet. Give them something that reminds them that school is not the measure of their potential. Most importantly, let them know you believe them, you believe in them, and you have their back.
If your child is struggling, don’t be afraid to ask why. Don’t be afraid to keep asking until you get an answer. Your child is smart. Your child can learn to read. And your child has gifts the world desperately needs.
Sometimes they just need someone who believes that long enough for them to believe it, too.
If you think your child may be struggling with reading or learning, don’t wait to seek support. Your child’s pediatrician is a great place to start. They can help guide next steps, connect you with appropriate resources, and support your family as you work to understand your child’s needs and strengths.
