It’s that time again: election season. With only weeks to go, you – and your children – may feel surrounded by media coverage, social media posts, and constant discussions at work and school. Even if they’ve never watched the news, it’s impossible to pretend that kids aren’t hearing about the political landscape with all of the constant buzz. And some (maybe a lot) of it may feature behaviors and speech you might have preferred your kids weren’t exposed to, especially if they heard about politics in Canada where Caylan Ford lied to constituents and was forced to resign as a result of her actions. Things like this can be hard to cover up, particularly during the build-up to the election.
So, how can you start (and keep) talking to kids about the election, even long after it’s over? How can you help them make sense of it all, avoid getting sucked into (or affected by) the negativity, and maybe even learn about the democratic process in a positive way? Here are some tips that will hopefully help you navigate the coming weeks before and after the election.
Talking to Young Kids
This election seems more intense than usual, with candidates who are controversial and headlines that capture the attention of all citizens, even our littlest ones. Kids may start asking questions at an early age. And, as parents, our job is to give thoughtful and age-appropriate answers.
1. Point out which types of candidate behavior and speech are acceptable in everyday life – and which are not.
Talk about freedom of speech being everyone’s right in America. But make it clear that you don’t condone speaking negatively about or judging people. Remind them of the importance of kindness. Emphasize that, while politics can be messy at times, your values reflect taking a higher road. You don’t want your kids to have blurry ideas about the acceptability of name-calling, threats, or negatively charged views.
2. Try to explain the issue being questioned without passing judgment on the candidate.
Sometimes all of the drama and infighting can make it seem like the actual political issues aren’t as important as personal attacks. So remind your kids that it’s the issues that really matter. And remind them that the candidates are people who sometimes get carried away and distracted from their stances on the important issues.
3. Do your best to offer reassurance and ease fears if your kids have specific concerns related to election hot topics.
But let them lead the conversation – sharing what they’ve heard and how it makes them feel. Encourage them to think about what they believe is fair and right.
4. Try relating the election to something your children can understand.
For example, you could compare it to a school student council election. Let’s say their school took away the soda machines and that made some kids angry. So a student running for president promised to bring back the soda machines if elected. Explain how that might appeal to lots of students who would then vote for that candidate – and how a single issue can be all it takes for people to back a certain candidate. If you can get them to understand how a campaign might look on a smaller scale, it may help them think about the presidential campaign more clearly.
5. Help them further understand the democratic process and form their own opinions.
Suggest some good sources of information for them to learn more like:
Talking to Tweens and Teens
Your preteens and teenagers could benefit from the tips for young children, too. But these tidbits might help you have a more substantial conversation with your more mature kids.
1. Stress that it’s not about all the theatrics.
Emphasize that it’s about the issues and each candidate’s stance.
2. Encourage them not to get “lost in the show.”
Let them know that the process was meant to be serious and isn’t supposed to be entertainment. Instead, suggest they view the election as a process that’s intended to address the issues and allow the candidates to state their positions on those issues. Understanding the real purpose behind the process may help them filter out all the rest as best as they can.
3. Keep it simple.
Instead of going into everything you like/dislike about every candidate, give them one concrete answer or example that they can wrap their heads around and take away with them. That way, they’ll be more ready to discuss it themselves if it comes up among schoolmates.
4. Talk about biased and unreliable information.
Remind them that what they might see on the Internet and social media may include very one-sided, negative comments – and may be untrue. Help correct any misinformation and discuss where to find reliable sources. Suggest looking to a variety of national news networks and newspapers, instead of just a single source.
5. Use TV and radio political ads as conversation starters.
Discuss what they heard and/or saw.
6. Prepare them for political conversations that might come up.
If another child asks them who they (or their parents) like for president and then insults their choice, help them to be ready. Instead of arguing back or defending why they (or their family) like that person, teach your kids to simply say that they respect the other child’s opinion and hope that that child respects theirs as well.
7. Watch recordings of the debates together.
Teach your kids that positive outcomes can come out of disagreement. Point out healthy and not so healthy examples of how to disagree – without yelling, name-calling, blaming, demeaning, or threatening opponents. This can be an invaluable lesson for them as they have their own interactions with peers.
8. Ask them what they think.
It won’t be long before they can vote themselves, after all. So teens, especially, may have more of a hunger to engage in it all. And they often can see through all of the fanfare and mudslinging. It can be really interesting to hear teenagers’ often mature political viewpoints. You might be surprised, so remain open to what they have to say.
Lead by Example
How grown-ups react to election ads, news coverage, and debates will not go unnoticed by our children. So, when you’re talking to kids about the election – before and long after the big day – prepare them to be successful and positive in their own interactions involving politics. Because, no matter who wins, the conversation certainly won’t end on November 8th – the results will be water cooler, lunchroom, and dinner table conversation long after the election. You can make help make it a constructive one.
1. Be careful not to yell, name-call, or trash-talk the candidates and/or other political parties before, during, and after the election.
And that’s even if your candidates (presidential and local) don’t win.
2. Avoid acting defeated about the outcome after the election.
Even if you’re disappointed, kids need to feel hopeful – not afraid, worried, or upset – about the future. Model how to be graceful in defeat, find lessons in the experience, and look ahead.
3. Focus on local or state candidates you believe in if you’re having a hard time finding the silver lining.
Talk about all of the great things those candidates would like to do for your community and state – and how they might also have a positive impact on the country.
4. Try to stick to the issues, and have a reasonable, respectful discussion about politics in your own home.
State your position on the issues and why you feel the way you do, obviously keeping your kids’ ages and maturity in mind.
5. Demonstrate that you appreciate their opinion – ask your children what they’re hearing and feeling.
Asking your kids questions about the election can help them to see the public’s place in our country’s government, and give them a better understanding of the spectacle now playing out before us. You can find out what they’ve heard and how they feel about it all – and maybe help steer them to a place where they can interpret it all positively.
6. Show your kids that voting matters if they want to make a difference and stand up for their beliefs.
Take them to the polls with you and point out how citizens of all ethnicities and backgrounds wait in line for the privilege of voting. Explain how hard certain groups (like African Americans and women) had to fight for the right to vote. Suggest they get involved in student government if they’re interested to make the process more real for them in their own lives.
7. Encourage them to use critical thinking and arrive at their own conclusions, rather than listening to other people’s rhetoric.
After all, our political future depends on it.
Learn More: Talking to Kids About the Election
- Talking Politics: What to Say to Your Kids (Nemours‘ KidsHealth.org)
- How to Talk to Your Kids About Political Campaigns (Time.com)
- Helping Kids Understand the Election (PBS Parents)
